


Of Playground Fights and Ice Cream

by Sleepless_in_Starbucks



Series: Parental Remile [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: As in like, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders- Mentioned, Gen, Mentions of Violence, Minor Injuries, Parental Remile, Prompt Fill, Talk of fighting, as in so minor they're only briefly mentioned, he's not that young, high schooler!deceit, kid!Deceit, use of the word f/g once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:07:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22702189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepless_in_Starbucks/pseuds/Sleepless_in_Starbucks
Summary: Prompt: Ummmm parental Remile with Deceit as their kid? With Dee getting in trouble at school?
Relationships: Deceit Sanders & Sleep | Remy Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani & Deceit Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Series: Parental Remile [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1480874
Comments: 20
Kudos: 112





	Of Playground Fights and Ice Cream

“Do you think he stole a pencil?”

“I doubt they would have called us in over a stolen pencil, Em.”

“I know but- what could he have done? He’s a relatively harmless kid…”

“Every parent thinks that about their kid.” Remy responded, though he didn’t sound too sure himself. “They probably falsely accused him of cheating or something.”

Emile sighed and hugged himself as he entered the school, Remy letting the door fall shut behind them. “I wish they could have just told us over the phone. That secretary is very tight-lipped.”

“You can say that again.” Remy agreed, the husbands falling silent as they followed the various signs to the principal’s office. A few students passed by them, barely sparing them a glance as they hustled to either get home or to practice.

At the office, they were greeted by a middle-aged woman who looked like she’d rather be anywhere that wasn’t behind her desk. “Can I help you?”

“We’re Darius’s parents.” Emile told her. “We got a call that the principal wanted to see us, some matter regarding him…?”

The secretary frowned a little as she quickly typed something into her computer, eventually jerking a finger over her shoulder towards a door behind her. “Get in there.” She ordered, as if she were talking to disobedient students. Remy and Emile did as she said, more worried about their son than a grumpy secretary.

The door lead to the principal’s office, Mr. Edison sitting behind his desk, rubbing his temple like he had a bad headache. Of the three chairs in front of his desk, one was occupied by Darius, who was awkwardly hunched over on himself.

Emile went to Darius first while Remy stood behind one of the chairs, not bothering to greet Mr. Edison.

“Hey, Dari, how are yo-” Emile cut himself off when Darius looked up at him, uncurling enough to reveal his hunched form came from him pressing a bag of ice against the left side of his face, and that both his hands were loosely covered in gauze and bandages.

Noticing Emile’s staggered stop, Remy shifted so he could see around him to see Darius. The moment he did, he turned angrily back towards Mr. Edison. “What the Hell happened?!”

“That’s what I called you here to discuss.” He answered, sounding tired. “If you could please take a seat, we can get started.”

Remy continued to glare while Emile gently shuffled Darius into the middle chair, both dads taking a seat on each side of him. Once they were all settled, Mr. Edison leaned forward, planting his elbows on his desk so he could clasp his hands together and lean them forward. “Darius got into a fight.”

“No shiz, Sherlock.” Remy snapped, Emile reaching a hand over Darius’s shoulders to pat his husband’s. The principal’s frown just deepended a little.

“Why was he in a fight?” Emile asked, more collectedly.

Mr. Edison shrugged. “By the time teachers arrived at the scene, both boys were injured. Darius was halfway through throwing another punch when they were broken up.”

“There’s got to be a reason.” Emile pressed. “Darius wouldn’t just hit a kid for no reason.”

“From what the teachers know-”

“He called him a fag.”

All the adults turned to look at Darius, who was still watching the floor with an expression that was both frustrated and tired.

“What did you say?” Remy asked, softly. Darius shifted his hold on the ice pack.

“The kid I hit.” He said. “He was calling Roman a fag for wearing a skirt.”

Silenced stretched for a moment, Remy and Emile looking between each other and Darius while he remained looking down. Eventually, Emile spoke up.

“Where is the other kid now?” He asked, trying to keep his voice controlled, though it was clear from his strained tone that he was struggling to do so.

“His parents already came by and picked him up.” Mr. Edison answered, consulting one of the papers on his desk. “He’ll be suspended from school for one day, as is our policy regarding school fights. For both participating in and initiating the fight, Darius will be suspended for two days-”

“You’re suspending Darius?” Emile said at the same time as Remy’s,

“Darius is going to be suspended  _ longer _ ?”

Mr. Edison only barely flinched at the sudden, and rather loud, questions. “It’s school policy.” He said simply. “All participants in fights are suspended for a day. The student or students who started the fight are suspended for one extra day.”

“Yes, but this isn’t exactly an average play yard fight.” Remy said with a frown. “You heard what Darius said. He was just defending this Roman kid. If anyone should have to be suspended longer, it should be the little bi-” Remy bit on his tongue, backtracking before he finished with, “it should be the other kid.”

“Be that as it may, rules are rules-”

“Rules my foot.”

“-and Darius shouldn’t have resorted to violence, especially without attempting to deescalate the situation in other ways first.” Mr. Edison explained, ignoring Remy’s interjection.

“I’m certain that Darius didn’t resort to violence immediately.” Emile said confidently before he turned towards Darius. “Dari, did you hit the other student without any warning?”

“Of course not.” Darius defended, voice quiet but still firm. “I told him to shut up first. And then twice, and thrice, and when he didn’t I did it for him.”

Remy nodded his head. “See? He tried to be reasonable. And when that failed, he took care of the immediate issue. I see no reason to punish him more than the kid who caused the issue.”

Mr. Edison shook his head. “Reasons notwithstanding, he still initiated the fight unprovoked, and policy states that-”

“Unprovoked?” Emile repeated, interrupting the principal. “The student was using an extremely crude word to insult another one. That’s verbal abuse, Mr. Edison, and it can be extremely mentally and emotionally damaging, especially to adolescents. Stopping that flow of abuse and stopping the use of a frankly repulsive word, albeit using a means I can’t condone, shouldn’t result in a worse punishment than the one using the word receives.”

Mr. Edison didn’t respond to that immediately, instead glancing between Emile and Remy. Finally, after a minute, he sighed. “In light of the full understanding of the situation that provoked Darius to punch the other student, I can lengthen the other’s suspension to two days.” He said placatingly. “But I still must reside by policy and suspend Darius for two days as well.”

“Fine.” Remy said, annoyed. “It’s not fair, but at least it’s not as asinine as punishing him  _ more _ .”

“Unless you have anything more you need from us, I think we’ll be going now.” Emile said quickly, before Remy could continue.

Mr. Edison just nodded towards the door as he moved back to looking over his papers. The three of them got up, Emile placing a hand on Darius’s shoulder to gently guide him as they left.

None of them spoke again until they were out of the school building, heading into the parking lot. Darius cleared his throat, awkwardly wringing his fingers as well as he could given they were wrapped up in bandages.

“Sorry I punched that kid.” He mumbled, looking at the ground as he spoke. “I know it wasn’t a good choice, I just… I had to do something.”

“Aw, don’t sweat it.” Remy said lightly, patting Darius’s shoulder. “I would’ve done the same thing, after all.”

“This is why your father is not a respectable role model.” Emile chided lightly, though he smiled when Remy flashed him a mischievous grin.

“What can I say, babes, it’s clearly just in his blood!”

“Hush, before you get yourself suspended.” Emile said teasingly before he turned his attention back to Darius. “And it’s alright, Dari. While I can’t condone violence, I think in these circumstances I can be persuaded to… overlook it. Just this once, of course.”

“So… I’m not in trouble?” Darius asked, slowly, glancing between his parents.

“I mean, you already have to deal with that bullsh-”

“Dear.”

“-bullstupid, clearly, I was just going to say bullstupid,” Remy saved easily, grinning when Emile playfully rolled his eyes, “that bullstupid suspension. Really, you’ve already been punished enough, in my opinion.”

“I agree.” Emile added.

“Plus, you’re going to be stuck at home alone with me, which is really just added punishment.” Remy said. He paused for a moment, as if in thought, before he went on, “Though the likelihood of me doing something stupid and amusing does increase when young, impressionable minds are around…”

Emile shook his head. “You’re going to burn the house down.”

“Probably.” Remy conceded as they reached the car. “But at least I’ll be teaching our son important life lessons while I’m at it!”

“Such as?”

“How to properly light matches, how to take the batteries out of fire alarms so firefighters don’t show up to spoil your fun, how to get out of a burning building at the absolute last minute- y’know, the cornerstones of father-son bonding activities.” Remy listed off as they got into the car, Darius slipping into the back as Emile and Remy took the driver and passenger seats, respectively.

“Well, once we get home, I’ll be showing Darius the funnest activity of them all: how to call into work and take the next two days off because your husband simply cannot be left unattended with a child.” Emile said.

“So I’m going to be stuck with both of you?” Darius asked, sounding disgusted by the idea even though both his dads knew he didn’t mind it at all.

Remy turned to face Darius as Emile started the engine. “Don’t think of it like that! You’re not ‘stuck’ with us- you’re enjoying a nice two-day break from school and work with us!”

“More accurately, you’ll be a bystander to the chaos of your father being stuck with me, the only responsible member of this household.” Emile corrected. “Though there is hope for you yet, Darius.”

“I’m offended that there’s no hope for me.”

“There hasn’t been hope for you in years, honey, it’s nothing personal.”

Remy crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat, clearly pouting. “If there’s no hope for me, why did you marry me?”

Emile risked a glance over at Remy, smiling over at his childish husband. “Because you’re too cute. All it takes is one glance at you and suddenly I’ve forgotten the fact that you’re horribly irresponsible and will likely be the accidental cause behind your own death.”

“Damn gay I will be.” Remy said confidently. “And thank you. I am very cute.”

“The cutest.”

“No, that title’s yours.”

“I thought we just agreed you’re the cute one.”

“There can be more than one cute on in a relationship-”

“Guys, if you’re gonna be mushy the whole way home, I think I’d rather walk.” Deceit interrupted them, sticking out his tongue just a bit. “Or get in another fist fight or something.”

Emile giggled. “Sorry about that, Dari.”

“And speaking of fist fights- Darius, this was your first proper brawl, yeah?” Remy asked, looking back at Darius. When Darius nodded, Remy went on, “Well, I’d consider that to be a pretty important milestone in one’s teenage years! We must celebrate! How does ice cream sound?”

“Ice cream sounds good to me.” Darius said enthusiastically.

“That’s one yes!” Remy said. “And you, darling dearest light-of-my-life?”

“You just want to try out their new espresso flavor.”

“Maaaaybe.” Remy admitted. “But have you considered this?” He leaned over the console, planting a kiss on Emile’s cheek. Emile’s face immediately flushed.

“That is cheating and you know it.”

“Maaaaybe.” Remy repeated, still in Emile’s space, now simply resting his head on Emile’s shoulder. “Is it working?”

Emile didn’t respond for a moment, trying to keep his attention on the road even as his eyes kept flicking back to his husband against his side. Finally, he sighed and gave in, saying, “Alright, we’ll go get ice cream. But only if you stop being more distracting than usual!”

“Whatever you say, doll.” Remy responded, quickly scooting fully back into his seat. “As long as it gets me that sweet, sweet frozen coffee, I’ll do it!”

“This is going to end horribly, isn’t it?” Darius asked, once more gaining Remy’s attention.

“Probably.” Remy admitted. “But, hey! You’re getting ice cream after beating a kid up! I’d say you’re pretty lucky, so it probably won’t end horribly for you! Just me and your dad, who insists on sticking by my side through everything for some reason.”

“I’m obligated to by love.”

“What’s love got going for it?”

“Our marriage, for one thing.”

“Impossible. Our marriage transcends mortal conventions.”

Darius leaned back in his seat and turned his attention to the window, watching the scenery rush by as his dads fell into a loop of compliments poorly disguised as some sort of discussion. He really wasn’t sure what he was expecting to happen after he threw that first punch… but as it stands?

He doesn’t regret it one bit.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on my tumblr and wish you could offer me prompts only to learn that I haven't opened prompts since the good ol' days of 1807 at sleepless-in-starbucks


End file.
